A Random Post

Heya! wassup...is anyone still visiting this once-thriving-now-obscure blog....heylooooooo anyone alive!?! Well hie...im back and u cud say back from the dead (i mean back before my blog became entirely dead).
all those expectin to get a peep in my life and some reasons of my hiding all this while well sorry to disappoint you sweeties...none of that. infact if you have to know, im writing this post wid a particularly blank mind right now and under pressure from someone who practically prohibited me from writing a farewell post (do i hear ppl gasping?). Yup u read it right. i was planning to write a farewell post..and y not? y keep something alive wen i cant take care of it? i mean when was the last time i wrote something...really wrote something here? it was dat tribute to apple...gah!
And guess what...its NOT AT ALL because nothing has been happening in my life offlate, no sir. on the contrary, a lot..A F**KIN LOT has been happening...and that seems to have taken away my enthu to write. ders too much to think, too much to decide and too many troubles. So much so that instead of sharing the thoughts and feeling light abt it, i dont feel like posting anything here now :(
And offcourse the unpleasant activities and events taking place off late haven't really helped...market crash, TV strike giving my mom enough free time to lecture me every evening how im taking my life nowhere and des terrorist attacks on mumbai...sucks wen u hear such depressing news first thing in the morning....guess this is the season...absolutely nothing no where is going right des days.
der are ppl who got too busy wid der life to be in touch, der were some who deliberately decided not to be available and all this pissed me soo much that i decided to turn a blind eye to the remaining who wanted to talk to me....pretty dumb na.
and the people who quite unknowingly helped me get through all this thanks to der constant nonsense will be soon going away thanks to some circumstances beyond anyone's control...so im gonna miss them big time and this thought is making me miss them even before they have left:(
This SUCKS!
I guess i'll stop now.
Rest will come later...dunno when.

Diwali Resolutions

First things first....HAPPY DIWALI to all :)
How was yours? Mine was toh super tiring...all i did was made 2 huge rangolis that took me 3 hours to make...and today morning, every single muscle in my body is making its presence felt...screaming out loud! Will post pics of my fruit of labour soon.
Another good thing i did this time was making Diwali Resolutions...and its not without a reason.
You see, New year resolutions are anyways jinxed. They were cursed to be broken always. Im yet to meet a person who can successfully claim to have made a resolution and keep it. So i moved on to Diwali resolutions and makes sense too since anyways Diwali marks beginning of a new year as per hindi calender.

So here are my diwali resolutions...and i intend to keep them..till next Diwali atleast

• I was in this terrible habit of posting my updates on Google Talk and Facebook. Its terrible coz at times when im in not so good mood and still post it, friends get worried and i (being what i am) dont share it with them....dsnt make sense na. So no updates on Gtalk and Facebook.

• Abe, oye, moron, jackass, F word, loser etc. these were my everyday terms (include a few from our mother tongue as well). While they are not exactly galiyaan but kinda abusive. Now all these not-so-polite terms are gonna be barred from my speech.

• Sweetie, sweetz, darlin, dude, boss, babez etc were another segment of endearments that were soo much a part of me. My frnds must have hardly heard their name from me...though i still love them as i always did, its time for these endearments to make an exit. This is important since at times they tumble out when they are not supposed to...gets kinda embarrassing that time.

• Gotta increase my level of patience...i get pissed at the drop of a hat...counteless number of people call me sadu :(

Dats all for 1st Diwali. One shouldn't push too hard for anything right. Wish me luck guys... Will let you know how well i fared :)

Let me know if any of you got inspired and tuk up a Diwali resolution of your own.

My philosophy

You Scored as Existentialism

Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.


“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”

“It is up to you to give life a meaning.”

--Jean-Paul Sartre


“It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.”

--Blaise Pascal

Existentialism

90%

Strong Egoism

90%

Hedonism

85%

Kantianism

80%

Justice (Fairness)

65%

Utilitarianism

60%

Apathy

40%

Nihilism

25%

Divine Command

15%

Brilliance awarded :P

omg! Omg! OMg!! OMG! This is real...
*sniff* *sniff*
I cant believe it. Tanku tanku everyone.
I got my first award... this is simply a dream come true for me. I am thankful that you consider me..worthy..*sniff* Im sorry i can control my emotions. *batting wet eyelashes*.
Thank you soo much Specy. I have known his blog ever since I have known blogging per se. One of the first blogs I started reading and commenting on. His writing and blogs have an innate humor and witty way to look at things....he can make you laugh even when your eyes are filled with tears....a total bindaas guy too. I have known him for quite some time and as per him "helped keeping his blog alive" but im sure that has nothing to do with his judgement when it came to giving out this award.

And now, the rules of this brilliant blog award:

When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back

Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design

Show their names, links, few lines about them and leave them a comment informing they were prized with 'Brilliant Weblog Award'

Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional)

And pass it on!

Aye Aye sir....Here we go (There might be few blogs which have already been awarded but so what....proves how much they deserve it.)

1. Monologue- She was part of the group of people who introduced me to blogs. She wasnt one of the first blogs i started reading...hers was THE first blog i ever everrrrr read. Bitchy, devil-may-care attitude, bindaas, fun, snob if she dsnt life you and what more...proud like hell to be all this. Her blog is a mirror of all that happens in her life. Long posts true but you dont realise it till you have read it all...very engaging. So this one is for Adi.

2. Day Gone Haywire- A blog that truely got me hooked...as in H-O-O-K-E-D. Every post would drive raging ideas and thoughts in my mind and i bombarded his blog with comments...lolz. So much that the blog master hads to write an email to enquire about spamming of his blog.
Bakfire can render a dream like quality of even when he writes about a mundane day...he focuses not on the big things but small details which you wont have noticed otherwise. Its a pleasure readin his blog.

3. Another life...Another Story- Saphire (or Di in her previous avtaar) writes to delight. Her writing is personal and something you can relate to. When she writes cute; you can smile, when she writes sad; you can cry, when she writes funny; you'll be laughing loud. The characters she potrays are real and something you can relate to. Its always fun to read Di's Story.

4. Freaky Journal- I guess this is a sorta biased nomination. He is super kewl and fun guy with his own sense of humor which at times does border to be weird...and ofcourse he makes sinfully yummy coffee. He writing is exactly wat he claims...FREAKY. He doesnt have any genre. Just when you think there is one, he surprises you! Overall, its fun reading his writing.

5. The Reminiscences of Ancient Mariner- Initially you may find this blog kinda serious but there is an inherent wit and a dark humor that runs in the veins of this blog. It is evident throughout whether he is talking abt his fav sensex or a general potrayal of his day. This blog just dsnt let you go.

6. The Nonchalant Cribber- A cribber and proud to be so! He rants, he screams, he swears but he is fun. Maybe coz i do all this but never with such gusto and thats something i admire in his blog. Offlate his posts are kinda long but they never seem like a drag.

7. Vineyards- Ofcourse how can i ever forget. Though already awarded by specy, he deserves a mention in my award list too. He writes about human emotions and bondings and he writes it with such depth and understanding that it makes you wonder if he has ACTUALLY gone thru such a varied range of emotions. Some of his posts were actually breathtaking. He make you cry and make you ache for more.

That's all people...im sure there are many more but i just cant seem to remeber them as of now. Now pass it on!

BANNED :)

Finally some relief to anti-smokers like me *sigh*For those who are wondering why am I suddenly being so sadistically happy at plight of the smoked up segment of the society, heres my earlier rant over the issue.

8 Ka Dum

I have been tagged by Di. As per the tag, i need to tell 8 things of each topic asked. 8 is somehow stuck to me...all of my mobile numbers (current and the previous ones) had 8 digit quiet prominently.

Neways, here goes the tag


8 Things Im passionate about:

1. My Work (yaa im one of dos few crazy souls :P)
2. Spending time with myself (my introspection time)
   
3. Blogging
4. Reading
5. My friends
   
6. Sleeping
7. Chatting (online or on phone)
8. Facebook application games (heavily addicted to text twirl, biggest brain n all)

8 Things I want to do before I die:

1. Go on a world tour (no London, paris for me...i like unknown, exotic locations)
2. Learn the art of tapori whistle (once i master it, i wud whistle in a multiplex.. :D)
3. Do salsa with someone I love (ummm but first i need to learn it)
4. I want to drive/operate a crane...i always find it interesting how they pick and drop things :D
5. Get an article written about me in a biz magazine (and this for my phenomenal achievements; not for the pangas and lafdas)
6. Buy a nice house isloated high on mountains. Would love to live there post my retirement.
   
7. Try bungee jumping
8. Go full talli and dance all nite

8 Things I say often:

1. Wateverrr
2. Kewl
3. Ya rite!
4. Huh!?!
5. Kya Bakwaas
6. U know...
   
7. Take Care
8. Shut up

8 Books I last read:

1. False Impression by Jeffery Archer
2. Crime n Punishment by Feodor Dostoevsky
   
3. The Class Palace by Amitav Ghosh
4. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khalid Hosseni
5. The Google Story by David A Vise
6. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
   
7. The Kite Runner by Khalid Hosseni
8. Sons of Fortune by Jeffery Archer

8 songs I could listen to over and over again:

1. When you say nothing at all- Ronan Keating
2. Filhaal- Filhaal
3. Aaoge Jab Tum- Jab We met
4. Duma dum mast kalander- Abeeda Parveen
5. Piya Tora Kaisa Abhimaan- Raincoat
6. In Dino- Metro
7. Tere Ishq Mein- Rekha Bhardawaj
   
8. Songs of Arth & Aandhi

8 bloggers who should do this tag:

1. Spectator
2. Surya, the Ayrus
3. Silence Killed
4. Adi
5. Matty
6. Bakfire
7. Rohan Nigam
8. Gaufire Sharma
   

Fruit of labour and science

They say Science and Christianity have always been at loggerheads since days of yore. While one looks at things with an eye of suspicion looking for logic, reason and explanation, other relies on belief and often blind faith. Still what is it that links these 2?
Hint: Its also the 1st word of your life
...


...


...


...


...


...


...
Well its APPLE.


Yup the same forbidden fruit which lured Eve to take a bite and led to supposed original sin and downfall of humanity (though personally i think thats wat lead to origin of humanity in 1st place).

And in terms of science, this apple was the one that gave Newton brainwave and he came upon concept of gravity.

Haan another field which sings praises of the rosy seeded bosom is Literature.
1st word we learn in school is A for Apple; not Airplane or Arm or Axe or Ass. Fine so its not exactly literature per se but this forms basis of the language :P
In idioms as well, An Apple a day, keeps the doctor away. Though nowhere in science does say that Apple is a healthy food.
A child is Apple of parent's eyes....for the life of me, i aint able to make the connection. If you are bad, then you are a rotten apple.
You are as american as an apple pie..honestly i wud relate america more with possibly Superman then Apple pie....*sigh* im sure the list goes on.

(Disclaimer: i borrowed that rosy seeded bosom thing from Dan Brown.)

Anyone in love with apples?

Leading a cluttered life

Its 5:52PM as per my desktop watch. Im sitting in my office, kinda relaxed with the last of the reports already gone out of my Outbox....wateverrr is gonna happen, its headache for next week. For now my week and work is over.
My desktop screen sports a bird's eye view of lush green landscape with a white car steering though a serpentine road....a sort of dream...wish to be someday in such a place. However there are many icons cluttering this amazing view...shows how lazy and careless i have been offlate.
When it comes to clutter, these days theres lot of it around me....some which i cudnt help with, some which i dint bother to clean up and some which i have grown used to. Like the one on my desktop (do i sound obsessed with it?); i have been soo busy that i simply turn a blind eye to it and wat more, i add to the collection, lolz.
Then there's lots of papers n all on my workstation. Envelopes, printouts etc. And my drawer is like overflowing with papers...which are not useless; just that i need to file them in a file which is also somewhere in my drawer only.
The pinboard of my workstation still sports notes of its previous occupant. There wasnt anything of my own that i needed to be put up there and dint really want the clipboard to look bare.
My handbag has a number of papers and clippings including lot of bills of coffee, restaurants, shopping n all...the stuff that i had purchased dsnt even exist anymore but i have the bills.
My office is gettin revamped so second half of it is practically got only pillars with broken down walls. Not to forget the continuous music of beating hammer that we hear all day long...but this is one clutter that i dont really mind...it promises a better tomorrow :)
My room is something i need not say anything about....its a messed up mess and will always remain so.
Personally lot of mess took place in my life, part of the reason y i was away from the bloggin scene and everything else for soo long...this was a mess that i desperately wanted to clean up but just cudnt help it...and now im resigned to it.
I think if you keep on ignoring and tolerating something, there comes a time when you get used to it...or you just arnt bothered anymore.
Look at me...i just listed down all the mess and clutter around me instead of actually clearing it up like i should have in this time :)

Linking the thread

Who breaks the thread; One who pulls it or one who holds on?
I read this quote somewhere and just cudnt let it go...finding an answer to this became a question of integral importance for me. I asked friends, put it on my gtalk status, it was even here on my blog for some time as a poll.
Who breaks the thread...
Some wud say that the one who pulls it coz he broke the equilibrium.
Pretty simple huh!?!
Maybe not...
At times its important to pull the thread...in such a situation the one holding it needs to let it go...on his understanding of the situation lies the onus of salvaging the thread.
But then again one can argue, shudnt one hold on to what one holds dear? Should one just let go at a small tug? What happened to standing by and fighting for whats yours and what you believe in? Is all that phoney?
No it isnt...but then you have to recognize a lost cause. While not giving in may at times salvage the situation but then if the other person keeps on repeatedly tugging the other end then you know you have to let go of it before it snaps into two. Recognizing such a situation tests the true metal of a person's logical and practical judgement and will power.
Wow! How convinient is that!?! So the entire onus of salvaging the thread falls on the poor soul who is not even initiating the tug in the first place. Why shudnt the one who pulls the thread bear the brunt of the mishap? Is it to be assumed that his judgement and decision of tugging the thread was accurate on all accounts? Couldnt his logical and practical judgement be flawed? And if it is, then isnt it the responsibility of the other person to bring out the true picture?

And the argument continues....

This is like those unanswerable circular mysteries of human thinking which dont have a concrete answer. And how could there be one when what we are talking about is human thoughts and behaviour.
While I was swinging between these 2 stances, there came a 3rd angle which made this entire excercise futile....What do you do with the thread if its not broken? If one pulls it and other does let go of it, the thread is intact but is it of any use? Whats the big idea about salvaging it when it is not connecting anything? When the 2 ends of the thread have drifted apart, is it any different from another piece of junk?

Any answers anyone?

The Godsent Advisors

In these times of increased inflation and rising prices, only god made things are free (that too only god knows till when. we have started payin for water anyway). But there is one thing thats man-made but is still free..no i aint talking abt MC-BC abuses and pollution n all that...its ADVICE.
im sure half of u must be noding ur head in agreement and some must be givin sheepish looks....yes im talking to u smartheads who believe they have been blessed with all the worldly wise gyaan and take up the altruistic task of making others move the 'right way'
Im sure you all must have across such god-sent specimens sometime or other (if you rnt one yourself). There are few things quiet peculiar about this breed.
They dont need anyone to seek their advice or opinion. For them its an understood thing by some unwritten unsaid code. When you are telling them a problem, they automatically wear their problem solving hats and shoot out advice and gyaan about how you are all wrong from the beginning, how you shud have actually handled the situation, and how to go about it now.
Some of the premium range of advisors dont even need you to approach them for anything...they'll see you doing something and automatically the helpful soul in them will encourage them to tell you how to go about the task. If they dont know what you are doing, they will ask you to tell them what things are like. Now since you arent the puuuuurfect soul like them, you obviously are not doing things exactly the way they should be and you need some gyaan.
You should do things differntly but only till they approve of it. As long as you live your life under their able guidance and follow their expert advice, you'll learn more and you'll progress (nevermind the direction of the progress though).
There is nothing that they dont know...they have been there, done that and done that the best way it could be done. So dont ever think that there is something they have no idea about or lets say that there is something they cannot SAY anything about. So whether its the Kashmir issue or the global warming or what AC you should buy or even what hair colour wud suit you best...heed the words of the know-it-all!!
People say listening makes you wise. but these godgifts are already soooo packed with greycells between their ears that they need not hear or listen . So they speak...and they just have to speak. Petty issues like whether they are asked to give in their input or if its something of their understanding dont bother them in the face of worldly good of enlightening the ignorant souls. They would happily interrupt anyone who is saying something...afterall their thoughts are more important to be heard na n neways what cud u mere mortal have to say to them that they dont already know :P
Ooo i could go on n on...but on a more serious note, someday i would really like to ask them why do they have to disperse their pearls of wisdom without being asked? Cmon man, if i ask u something, that makes sense ki i had it comin. but here i am all blissfully happy in my world and BANG you come and paint it all mess!! Have some sense of self-worth and talk only when you are being talked to and that too to people who value you...incase you dont realise (which i think u dont), most of the poeple are waiting for you to get done with your articulation so that they can get back to their work.
But i know i will never do that...i'll never go upto them and actually give them this eye-opener. You see...i fear another gyaan-session comin my way..and i doubt if i'll be able to stand it.

Starting all over again

What does a pavement chalk artist go through when his labor of hours in creating a vision on the footpath gets ruined by rain...and he cant do anything other than just sit and watch it all wash by?
or when your sand castle gets washed away by waves of the sea?
the irony is that in all these cases, the end result was both evident and expected. the chalk artist cudnt possibly have expected his creation to remain there for days. Similarly, sea waves were not an unexpected catastrophe, was it?
then y does one invest so much of energy, dedication and emotions in those creations? and if it does then y rnt we mentally prepared wen all that is taken away from us..y does it hurt so bad?
She was living a nightmare where she is dropped in the middle of a desert and her ctretches are taken away from her. Can she walk without them? she dsnt know cos she never tried. and now she is scared to try...to even think about it.
He was her support system...in a way he was the reason for her existence. She never lived a life for herself, she simply was never aware of this concept. her day started and ended with him, in her quest to make his life easy, she never got time to notice her own quality of life. Was she happy? dat was directly proportional to his happiness. Was she satisfied with her life? this was an alien question to her since neither did she recognise her own life nor the significance of this question.
And now after 48 years to togetherness, he left her. Suddenly she is facing a huge void in her life which she has to fill. only that she dsnt know what she shud fill it with? What next? what now? Its not that this was never to happen, infact she saw it coming but somehow she cudnt prepare herself for this. how does one prepare to face a wipe out...her life was wiped out. she had a clean slate in her hand and she had to start afresh.
Could she do it; she didn't know. She had never tried and now what did she have a reason to? why? what for? "Live for yourself now. Do things you always wanted to do, go to places." people told her. But her wishes and desires were loooong ago buried under her responsibilities. She cudnt remember what was the last thing she really wished for that was for herself. now she just have a life to live but nothing to live it for...she is looking for another reason to live...its sad she is not capable of living her life for her self anymore.

Listen to this

Ok all you regular readers of my blog, you are in for a surprise....after you guys have been reading my cribbing and screaming for a year now, i decided to reward you all wid a differnt post...something like setting up the tone for this year.

Though not much into music n all (i like to humm along the song), but i came across this track by some band called Pacifika on You tube. And i liked it!! So much that i decided to share it with you all...I couldn't understand the lyrics (i dint even recognize the langauge) but still it was very calm and relaxing type (no its not YOGA and meditation music...cant u ppl ever take me seriously!).

So listen to it and do lemme know what you think of it. Ofcourse along with praising the track, some words about my classy choice are not ruled out;)

PS: I tried adding the video here itself but my PC was acting up so had to post the link...but that shudnt be a trouble anyways...you just have to click only (any lazy finger out der!?!)

UPDATE: Though i like this song but i dont understand even a single word :( can anyone out here gimme a translation to the lyrics plzzzzzzzzzz!! Also, where cud i get more from des guys. lemme knw if u have any idea abt it :)

A year later

Yesssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 28, 2007 was the auspicious day when i finally christined the blogosphere wid ma presence by hitting the PUBLISH button for this post. And like they say there has been no looking back... i wrote and i cribbed n screamed n i vented it all out and what not. So my logging is now a year old and what have i learned in this one year:

NOTHING!!!!! :P

if any of you were thinking that der'll be some changes in my writting and i'll start wid some more socially responsible posts den darlin u r sooo very mistaken....its gonna be the way it is till the time its gonna be.

So a very very very HAPPY BDAY to me :)

Meeting the Past

Packin your stuff brings you face 2 face with your past memories. Things you were looking for all over but cudnt find...to things you kept too carefully to remember again. The past weekend was nostalgia full on for me. I found hidden in my almira, things I have been carrying with me since ages…some toh I dint even know exist.

My music diary. This is a good 11 yrs old…back when I was learning classical music…it’s tattered to no end with yellowed pages. But it symbolizes the most beautiful times of my school life…when I was just myself.

My Ghungroo. No I wasn’t into classical dancing but I have a string of 20-25 ghungroos. It’s a single string, not a pair. I like their sweet tingling sound. Plan to hang them in my room as a substitute to wind chimes.

Remember the amazing viral marketing spin by Ruffle Lays? I and my brother had a huuuuuuuge collection of these taazos. Infact, we had created an album for this.

McDonalds used to be my brother’s fav hound for nothing else but those toys that we used to get from there.

I found an unposted letter written to my friend 5 years back. I was always into writing and used to write her long letters full of nothing else but crap and gossip. Dunno why I did not post this one.

My remedy to overcome bad moods and anger, just spill it all out on a piece of paper and read it after 3-4 days. You tend to laugh at it that time and then you can burn it off. Guess I never got back to some of them after 3-4 days…some of those venting out creations were 7 years old! And ya…I did laugh at them.

A calendar of year 2000 that I got from Jaipur, mainly coz I liked the paintings on each page...I even recreated some of them.

A travel kit gifted to me by my brother on Rakshabandhan. It had a mirror, comb, tooth brush, tooth paste, soap and a mini towel. Never really got round to use it.

My Barbie doll and her clothes and kitchen set.

Fake currency notes that were quiet in vogue some 10 years back.

A glow toy that I had with me…it used to be my bed-partner along with my dolls and teddy bears. It somehow gave me a sense of security.

A book on Russian folk stories (funny I had read Russian when I was young and here I am struggling with Fyodor Dostoevsky)

My passpost size photographs when I was in class 10. I could actually see the transformation since these 8 years!

Other then these, ofcourse there was also some windfall gains as:
A pillow cover that mom had been lookin for since looooong time

A stationary kit. My brother once asked me if I have it with me since he cudn’t really find it anywhere else and I obviously said No.

A notebook with some important notes. I knew I have it with me but just cudnt find it when I needed it.

A SPOON!! Don’t ask me how did dat land in my almira.

4-5 towels

Uncountable number of handkerchiefs all distributed in my handbags and jeans pockets n all. Unfortunately no windfall gains in terms of money :(

My almira was nothing less then a pandora’s box I guess. But it was fun going through all those times again. Some things I have to leave behind but then…memories are not dependant on material objects right.

Mom, Me and my wardrobe

I am back to my nostalgic trips (for the recent readers of my blog, my earlier nostalgic stint lead to these posts.)
One of the biggest challenges in shifting your home comes in form of packing up of all your belongings. Add to it when you have to pack each and every thing all by yourself coz your mom doesn’t trust the packers & movers ppl (They’ll just stuff in everything without wrapping it properly. What if something breaks off? And how will I know which carton has what?...and so on) Infact, my next few posts might be based on this moving on only.
Dats when u realize just how much clutter you had actually accumulated. I dint even realize I had sooooo many clothes (though my mom never failed to make me aware of this)!! There are few which I have ahem..well..sorta..outgrown and there are some which could have been worn but wrnt coz I simply dint remember that I have them! And now when its clearing up time, I am in a dilemma….should I throw them away or keep them with me? And for the outgrown ones, throwing away would mean that I’m accepting that I’ll never get back to them. So my mom is these days constantly on the lookout for a chance to raid on my wardrobe while im trying to hide my treasure from her.
This is what a typical evening in my house goes like these days when she is going through my collection of clothes.
As it happens generally, she opens the closet and few jeans come tumbling down on her. *sigh* talk of a bad start.
Mom: See…this is what I don’t like. You don’t even take care of your clothes. Then after some time you say that they have lost their look and you want more.

Me: I do!!! Arrey that toh I was getting late for office so I just stuffed them in. I was about to put them in properly abhi.

Mom: Ya right. I have been hearing this since last how many years now? Neway rehne do.

And we start going through each of them one by one.

Mom: This!! Throw this away...when was the last time you wore it huh?

Me: I will now pucca se. (*i guess saying that it got kinda lost in the heap of clothes wouldn't have really helped so i decided to keep mum)

Mom: And u better give away all these trousers...they dont fit you anymore and you obviously arnt gonna do anything about it.

(*my mom surely knows how to prick me. As was expected, dis statement got me all fired up)

Me: Kya matlab? ofcourse im gonna do something about it. I am not throwing it away...no way!

We carried on calmly for some time till she got to a salwar suit. This is always been a raw nerve with my mom. While she adores salwar suits, i aint really fond of them and she hates it when they just keep on hanging in my closet.

Mom: Look at this one...so pretty! and you literally fought with me to get this one stiched but now you just dont wear it.

Me: Mom its kinda glittery..i cant wear it to office n all.

Mom: Its not!! bus tumhe hi aisa lagta hai...why you have to wear such dull clothes.

Me: Arrey! just coz i dont wear THIS particular suit, all my clothes are dull!?!? Kya logic hai ismein?

Mom: Tumhe na toh apne kapdo ka khayal rakhna hai, na hi inhe phekna hai. Bus keep on stuffing them in. This is a pathetic T-shirt!! Its even faded. what are you gonna do with this?

Me: Ummm ya its kinda faded but i like it n i do wear it.

Mom: Ye bekaar hai.

And with that statement, she finally put one T-shirt in discarded clothes section. And before i could even realise, few more were added to it. :(

Mom: All these skirts...why dont you wear them anymore?

Me: Mom these are those huuuge skirts that were in some 5 years back! i cant wear them NOW! They look weird!!

Mom: Then why did you buy this one the other day?

Me: This is a wrap around skirt. They look good.

Mom: Tumhara toh kuch samajh mein hi nahi aata ki kab kaya achcha hai kya nahi hai. Do it yourself. I am loosing my patience.

Me (with a big smile): Okie! :)

Its not that she is indeed done with it. She'll be back i knw and the same thing will happen. Few of my collection will be martyred for a larger cause :P

Moving on

“Wake up! We have reached. Arrey utho bhi.”
My mom’s consistent poking finally managed to wake me up from my slumber… How do I manage to sleep so deeply curled up in the car is a mystery to her as well as me.
I was still pissed with the last argument and was obviously not in a very amiable mood. Who would be if u r made to leave your friends and school and shift to a completely different one?
I looked up to the group of white tall buildings one of which was to house my new home.
“They all look the same! I’ll never find my house.”
“Ever heard of something called house number? We had it earlier as well. And there too all houses looked same.”
“Yaaa but…its soo tall! And there is no elevator as well”
“Its only 4 floors and our house is on 2nd floor”
This last counter argument was delivered with a don’t-be-so-difficult look to me. I knew there was nothing I could say, not at the moment at least. I quietly followed my dad down the lanes to the block that was to be my new home.
“It’s so small!! And what if I fall from the stairs?”
“If you look where you are walking, you won’t fall.”
The problems that I could find with this place were innumerable!
“I wont drink dis packed milk. It’s synthetic! I read it in paper”
“I cant sleep at night. I can actually hear someone walking in the house above ours! Its disturbing”
“I don’t like the kids out here…they don’t play football!”
And the list went on…Now that I think of it, it was a natural defensive reaction from a 11 year old who refused to be taken out of her cocoon.
In the last one decade that I have lived here, this place has grown from a quiet, relatively greener part of the city to a busy, upcoming segment with malls, metro and new housing societies.
Im comfortable here…my friend’s place is walking distance from my home and my office is 5 km.
And then:
“We are shifting. Packup!”
“Whaaat! But why are we going there of all the places? It’s not even come up properly yet! And my office will be soo faar! And it’s not safe at all….”
*embaressed smile*
History repeated itself.
11 years later and my reaction is still the same. Guess im still defensive about my comfort zone and don’t want to let go of it.
Is it only me or is everyone else like that?

Crap on Idiot Box

Well well well so now on this day when almost everyone is fooling or atleast trying to fool someone, I decided to do something kinda different on my blog. So for a change, I will NOT talk about myself out here…no need to laugh so hard now ok…though kinda unusual, its definetly not unprecedented. I have earlier shed some light on a few bigger causes as well like here and partly here as well.

For a change last week I was watching TV and that too I choose to watch news channels…there was just one fella hogging the limelight. Some WWE guy called Khali…oops! It’s the Great Khali. News channels have gone completely ga-ga over this giant of a man. Some are even claiming him as a Superhero! Khali’s exclusive interview, exclusive footage of his gym where he trains (Aarrgghhhh!), what he eats, what he thinks, how he has terrorized the entire WWE fraternity n all that jazz.
Duuuude, is wrestling really that big in India? Or are they creating a hype coz Khali is the 1st export from india in this arena? Whats the big idea of making mountains outta molehills?

Another example being the Tanushree Dutta and nana patekar thing that was in news…1st thing that had me dumbstuck was…Who the hell is Tanushree Dutta?? After googling and boggling my mind, I remembered her as some beauty pageant winner...This lady had some issues with Nana Patekar and was thrown out of the movie and her car was smashed and all that jazz...now this is the only time i guess that this lady is in news post her paegent win along with a almost done with star for a movie which definetly isnt a very awaited one. If this isnt a publicity stunt then i dont know what is...

These days news channels serve more of a channa zor garam rather than a balanced diet. Agreed with some who claim that this is very much news..true. But from the look of it, it seems this is the ONLY news! Isnt there anything more interesting thats happening? Cmon man we live in a world with more than hundred countries...im sure something is happening all the time somewhere...y not report that?
Some say that this kinda news is shown coz there are poeple who watch it...so these news channels are doing nothing but simply catering to the market needs...but rnt they creating that market as well? If they can make people curious about this Khali and who is dating whom and who killed whom and who even slapped whom then why cant they create awareness about some good and worth it issues!
They dont think its worth it? Or they simply dont care about it? Afterall, if showing Govinda slapping some XYZ increase TRPs then why bother!?!?!

Heartbreak

You're breaking my heart all over again.
Oh why did we start all over again?
It's too late now to wish I had never met you.
I've loved you much too much to just forget you.
If we ever part all over again,
Will I fall in love, no never again!
You said you'd love me, you made a vow,
Look what you're doing now,
You're breaking my heart all over again

This is a song by Frank Sinatra....dunno y but i kinda liked it so posted it here.

Last 24 hours

Trust Specy to come up with something weird everytime. From a guy who takes months (literally) to complete a tag himself, he has created a tag of his own!
So the tag says, “What all would you do if you come to know that you are going to die in next 24 hours?”
Now this is as per the assumption that I will not die before 24 hours no matter what I do. And neither will I fall ill or get hurt.
Here goes:
Firstly, I’ll stop all the clocks and watches around me. Don’t want to spent time looking at it every nano second.

I would jump off a building, facing the sky with my hands outstretched…I wud’ve liked to try this from a mountain peak but that would require wasting time in travelling.

Walk in the middle of a busy road…normally stray cows do dis and its fun seeing how ppl try to steer away their vehicles from it. (Im NOT calling myself a stray cow ok...just that it gives a kinda royal feel to think that ppl are trying to get outta der way to make space for u.)

Drive a crane or a road roller…actually a monster truck but I don’t think I’ll get it here. Oh! Did I mention that I don’t even know how to drive a car?

Now after this stunt of mine, obviously mamus will be after me so I’ll perform a Lara Croft style stunts and jumping across the moving buses and all save myself…rmbr, I CANNOT die before 24 hours.
I

would shop, shop and shop buying all sorta clothes I always thought would be pathetic to buy...with my credit card.

Eat likes there is no tomorrow (there wont be…lolz)

I’ll go on all those super whako and crazily scary rides in amusement parks.

Write loads and loads of crazy things on my blog...bitching full-on saying things I had always wanted to say...I’ll even go to name taking.

I guess if im able to accommodate dis much in 24 hours without over stressing myself then its ok.

Last one hour of my life I’ll spend by just being with myself thinking about my life gone by…if I am able to smile at the end of it, den all of it was worth it.

Ok now I tag:
Ancient mariner
Di
Matty
Wacko
Lazymad man
Thushar
Bakfire

Lets see what you ppl come up with.

A pathetic week

Warning: This is going to be an out-n-out cribbing post. So only the ones who have sampled my cribbing before should take the risk of reading further…don’t say I dint warn u.
I am in a terrible mood des days. And the blistering hot weather and stuff around me is also not really helping me out.
The temperature levels in delhi are outrageous considering that its only mid-march! What are we gonna face in May-June…possibly bread will be toasted by merely getting exposed to the sunlight for 10 minutes, hospitals will have patients flooding in with burn issues..60% burns, 80% burns! Infact, there wont be any burnt for dowry news, the victim would be merely made to stand in the sunlight. Imagine the amount of natural resources that’ll be saved if people start cooking in their gardens with nothing other than an iron plate. You could make your omlette or paranthas or anything on that!
To add to the weather, there is Holi. Now this is one festival which is very controversial in terms of its duration. Traditionally, holi is of 2 days. Corporates and companies do not recognize the 1st day and so ofcourse there is no chutti so for them holi is just one day. What makes it worse is that NOT ALL companies follow this. So while some give you just one day leave, others give out a 2 day holiday.
Me: Heya!
Frnd: Happy holi
Me: Ya. Sam2u.
Frnd: Tell me, you have a holiday tomorrow?
Me: No yaar, office L
Frnd: Yipppeeee!!! Yahooooo!
Me: huh ????
Frnd: I have a holiday!!
Me: !!!!!!
I still wonder if she was happy coz she got an extended weekend or coz I DINT get it?
*sigh*
So I have an office tomorrow. And it’s surely going to be a mess thanks to a bunch of lunatics for whom holi is week long! So during this period they just can’t stand the sight of a colourless and neat person in holi season. So what if you are just a passerby and they don’t even know you! Holi is for everyone…so BANG! And you are hit by a balloon bomb…Holi hai!!
Things are nor particularly nice in office either. I had my 1st messed up campaign in my career and im supremely bugged about it…Even though I wasn’t very optimistic about it but it was challenging for sure. The worst part is that somehow I’m not feeling like doing anything these days…and this sucks…sucks as in SUCKS!! Maaan I wish it rains here…let it just pour like crazy!

In conversation

“What’s with you and this word Sorry?”
“As in?”
“As in why is it so difficult for you to utter this word? You are always so stubborn type about this.”
“I have no issues in apologizing to anyone. But you convince me that I am at fault.”
“Can’t you say sorry just to make someone feel better.”
“If Im saying sorry without meaning it, how will that person feel better! Dat would be cheating him”
“What cheating yaar…u said something which pricked someone. You say sorry to end the matter and get done with it. That’s it! What is so complicated in that.”
“I am not bothered who does what. Maybe for them this word doesn’t mean anything. But it matters to me so when I say sorry to someone, I really mean it.”
“Funny. I have noticed you saying sorry when you bump into something on the way…at times it’s just a pillar or tree. But you say sorry even before realizing it’s an object.”
“That’s different. More of a habitual thing.”
“The way it sounds is that you can apologize to a mere stranger on the road, even an object but not to the ones who love you, who stand by all your whims? Their feelings and thoughts don’t matter?”
“Of course they do. But I am sure they will not be happy with me apologizing for the sake of saying it. They know me and I doubt if they expect it.”
“That’s kinda nasty you know. You slashed someone but if you don’t think you were at fault, you won’t apologize. Even if that person bleeds to death.”
“So you mean you haven’t apologized to anyone to make up?”
“I have. If someone is so adamant on hearing this, then I ask if they want me to say sorry without meaning it. I they say yes, then I say sorry. Though I have never seen them be happy about it.”
“There you go again. Why you have to make it so obvious? When you make it clear that you don’t mean it, obviously no one will be pleased with it.”
“So I am to say sorry without meaning it but it should look genuine?”
“Ummmm ya kinda. That’s what is expected”
“Funny how people fool themselves.”
“You know your problem? Your problem is that you turn everything in an ego issue.”
“Ya rite. Not apologizing to make things better is ego. But expecting someone to pretend as guilty without meaning it just to make yourself feel better is …..”
“That’s the world honey.”
*sigh*

This was a conversation I had with myself sometime back. Somehow it dint seem to conclude. Maybe coz none of us knew the conclusion. But I am not guilty for leaving it in between. And luckily, my self is someone I don’t have to pretend and say Sorry.

Silence...

One phenomenon with varied dimensions and interpretations. It scares some n it calms others. To some it spells upcoming storm or doom; to others it’s the eternal peace beyond which nothing matters.
Silence at late hours of the night when half of the world is no longer conscious, when the roads are without those blaring horns, when your neighborhood doesn’t echo voices of mothers running after kids, grilling their maids and street vendors selling their items….At 1 AM, its just you and the eternal darkness with its silence so deep that you can even hear your own heartbeat!
That silence gives you eternal peace...at times like these you can just fly in your thoughts, your aspirations, you can think about those moments which made you happy…you soar high in your world leaving all your burdens worries and issues behind.
You know you have done something drastically bad, said terribly nasty and hurt the one you love the most…you cant take it back…u cannot undo it…but u feel bad for making them feel bad…you dread the encounter but somehow u know you have to face it, “They’ll scream at me. They’ll tell me how bad I am...its ok. They’ll take it all out. I deserve it.” So you tell yourself. But you don’t get any of it. Instead you get silence…nothing about how evil you have been, nothing about how u have hurt them and how thoughtless it was. Instead its, “How was your day? Let’s go out for dinner?” That silence kills…tortures like anything…when you don’t have the guts to bring it up by yourself.
The silence you get from a friend when you need them the most…when you don’t want to exchange any words, when you don’t want to tell what happened and how it happened, when its too raw for any sort of analysis of who was at fault and what went wrong...when you don’t even to say all if this…and you don’t need to. They just look at you and sit near you. No need to hold hand and give it that reassuring squeeze…just sit there and have the lengthiest and most meaningful conversation…that silence fills you up with contentment and pride of having such people to share your life with.
The social environment we live in these days produces such high volumes of decibel sound that we are no longer comfortable with silence…restaurants and lounges maintain a background of music…not always to relax you but to facilitate you to talk and be comfortable with the surroundings. If suddenly the music goes off, everyone starts looking here n there anxious by this sudden silence…which is alien to them. The sentences and words are dropped mid-way; no one has the courage to kill the silence.
You talking to someone and after saying something you go quiet.
“What happened? Why are suddenly so quiet?”
“Nothing happened”
“Are you thinking something?”
“Not really”
“Then why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Im not troubled or anything. I’m just quiet..dats it.”
And then there is Silence
But you know this silence is screaming…screaming that you are not understood. That you are just silent but the other person is busy thinking trying to unravel the mystery behind your silence. *sigh* There isn’t any.

Horrors of covering that distance of 5 km

First the dhamaka news which im sure is dream for most of u: My house is just 5 kms away from my office! (yes yes yesss I can see you go green with envy..huaaaa haha hahahah haha) So the travelling time to office is like just 15 minutes…and oh wait…did I tell you that this 20 minutes INCLUDES the stoppage time at the traffic lights…*evil smile*
For the remaining pure souls who haven’t already closed down the browser window burning in envy (y else wud u give up on my blog huh!?!?), here comes the anti-climax…Its a real pain getting a means to cover this distance.
I did undertake those 15 day car driving courses and got my license as well but I cannot sit behind the steering wheel and maneuver the car safe n sound from one position to another…So the bottom line is that I cant drive and my license serves the sole purpose of my address verification.
That brings me to public transport system
Ah well…thanx to our media, by now every single person in every nick n corner of the country knows what kinda adventure ride it is to travel by the Blueline buses of Delhi…Add to it the office hours and u have the ultimate stunt of going to office hanging out of a crowded bus like a ripe bunch of grapes. So this is completely outta question.
Autorickshaw: Im sure I have mentioned randomly in my earlier posts as well…my office though only a few kms away, falls in the state of Uttar Pradesh. And with some crappy transport law, autorickshaws of one state cant operate in another unless they tk sm sorta pass…so every morning its an exercise of 30 mins of HUNTING FOR AN AUTO n den 15 mins of ride…ofcourse the auto walah in full understanding of his monopoly and your dire need will charge u a bomb but then its either that or reach late *sigh*. Ofcourse there is perennial trouble of chutta or change. He wont be carrying even a tenner with him so its completely upto you to pay him and and get the remaining amount back unless you are feeling rich n generous enuff to say keep the change.
Few days back I found an alternative to this issue as well (u can always trust me to find solutions to problems *smug*)…d gud ol pedal rickshaw. No transport laws governing them and if given an incentive of extra 5 rupees, takes 20-25 mins to cover the distance…but the problem is that it can get quiet scary at times. A road with automobiles running at speed of nthng less den 60 kmph n if anything less den honking lk mad…picture a humble innocent peddle rickshaw trapped between a blueline on left side and another bus on right. Behind you are 3-4 cars and all the other nick-n-corners r sealed by bikers…n when the traffic light goes green, u can imagine the rush n everyone’s irritation and cant-we-walk-over-it feeling is so thick, its almost tangible! L
*sigh* all this for a mere 5 kms. Im thinking of either start walking that distance (ok im kidding! ) or buy a car…(hey im not kidding abt dis one). Lets see how this works out. Meanwhile I gotta decide how im gonna get back home today..hope I find an auto.

5 minutes before the fall…

Standing on the edge of a cliff with her arms spread like an eagle’s wings. This is the end…nowhere to go. But do I really want to go anywhere…what am I doing here standing lk dis? Am I going to fly or am I gonna die?
Soft wind is blowing making her swoon… She realizes that she is not able to stand still…and neither is her mind…Its wen u r at places like these that u realize how much of support we take from our surroundings while standing on our 2 legs…its wen u r standing with absolutely nothing around you except big vast expanse of sky which is no longer up above you but seems to be coming down to engulf you..its at these times you suddenly miss the surrounding that you were so used to.
“Its almost time” She thinks and closes her eyes…
“Dint someone say that your whole life flashes before you at moments like this?” She thinks of things gone by, people she left, people who left her and ofcourse those whom she wanted to be with but who were just never there.
The countdown begins…
5…
She raises her arms
4…
She closes her eyes
3…
She takes a deep breath
2…
She realizes that she is smiling
1…
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooo
She falls…
That was her experience with Bungee jumping :P

Long time, no post!

I know I know…its been too long since my last post n der hvnt been many updates n all dat jazz…
There can be numerous reasons for this like…
I hvnt been online all this while
OR
Bloggers block
OR
My fingers froze in this chilly cold weather n I just cudnt type
OR
was oh-so-very-busy
OR
I wrote something really nice few weeks back but the moment I was about to press Publish, my system crashed!
OR
Poor innocent me was threatened to stop writing such random n pathetically poor stuff…I was told dat nobody wants to know the details of my life…I got scared L
OR
People took away my keyboard due to constant noise I made
OR
Someone I want to bitch about reads my blog regularly and I can’t cum up with a suitable code name
OR
Had temporary amnesia and forgot my username and password.
OR
Everything is so nice n kewl n good around me. I just cant find anything to bitch or crib about!
OR
I had an idea but was too lazy to type so was waiting for blogspot to cum up wid a n audio blog
OR
Blog? Im sorry wat r u talkin abt?
OR
I have given up writing
OR
Why the hell should I tell YOU what I think huh!?!
OR
…
*sigh* dats it I guess. Cant think much…cmon I wud have written a proper post had I been able to think ok (YA it DOES require thinking smarthead :P)
Honestly, I have simply been too cold n lazy to actually put my fingers exposed to the biting cold air and punch the keys. Have to so it in office coz I just cant help it.
Will be back when the weather is more fit for human survival…till then, take care n byeee!

Happy-NEW-Year

A lot of people said that I marked my 50th post but dint mark the turn of year on my blog. Afterall, it was the first turn of year being witnessed by my blog.
So Happy New Year to all.
But then if u think it over…
What’s so new about this year? Other den one extra day in Feb, isn’t it the same as the old one? Same old months, same old alternatively 30 and 31 days, same festivals, same seasons…blah blah blah.
So what’s so new about it?

Its a year with new days and different opportunities, new events and new..umm watever.
But den we get a new day every 24 hours, dont we. We have a new opportunity, a new sunrise and all dat jazz every 24 hours. Then wat major significance does this turn of day hold..

Am I being too rational? or am I being too pessimistic?
Watever it is...one thing is for sure..im definetely using TOO MANY QUESTIONMARKS :P

Ok people..lk we wish Gud morning to everyone, here I wish happy, peaceful and healthy remaining 2008 for you :)

Turning 50!!

Cut the cake, pop out the champagne and sing birthday wishes…so what if we dint celebrate birth of JLT, we are today celebrating 50th post of JLT. *applause*
Now..im sure you all are super enthu abt hearing some words of wisdom from JLT about his journey to this landmark where not many blogs are able to reach or if they do, just don’t bother recognizing the importance. Hey u! wat r u trying to imply by that rolling eyes expression of urs huh???
Anyways, so who better to interview JLT den its associate and owner (this is to tell who the boss is) SUPERNOVA.
S: Hey buddy, so u r 50 now eh..gud going.
JLT (the ever sarcastic): I’ll tk ur statement as bday wish.
S: So lets go back to how u got started.
JLT: Me...well it was all your doin..if u wrnt so surrounded by bloggers and blog discussions in your previous work place, not to mention so piled up wid things inside u dat desperately needed a vent out…I don’t think I wud have cum into existence.
S: So tell me, hw it has been so far huh? Pretty gud im sure.
JLT (and also the perennial cribber): Oh ya? u wudnt have said d same if someone was using YOU purely as a confession box.
S: Ahem ok so dat was y u were created..u r atleast serving ur purpose..be happy about it.
JLT gives out a nasty grunt
S:Oh cmon...it cudnt have been so bad, was it. (a look saying dont-u-dare-say-otherwise is passed)
JLT: Umm ya good enuff though it would have been a lot better if der were more comments but den its ok..who cares anyways.
S: Oh but u have a few loyal readers…ders a niche readership dat u enjoy. How kewl is dat.
JLT: Ummm ya wateverrr
S: So any great achievements?
JLT: Ah well! I managed to keep myself alive so long dats a gud one. Plus induced some sm slacky bloggers lk Spectator to be more regular wid der blogging even though now dey seem to be doing d same.
S: So wat tuk u so long to cum up wid ur 50th post…almost a month..u have never been away for dis long.
JLT: Uh-huh..Lady wen u turn 50 and people cum asking you questions about your 1st day in the world, den u cum to me n we’ll discuss y it tuk me soo long.
S: ok F-i-ne. U know it wont hurt if u can put a cap on ur cribbing and sarcasm.
JLT: Tell the person who logs in to blogger account n pukes out all dis crap in my name.
S: Ahem ok so dats it for now. Before u practically kill me by ur sheer sneering, im off.


*The 50th post of such a random blog cudnt have been anything even remotely sensible :P