Saying it loud...

• Sitting alone doesn't mean that I am lonely n sad n depressed or anything equally negative ok. It simply means that I am with myself n its PERFECTLY normal.
• Accept it: I am not a chatter box ok...I don't talk much. so while talking to me, the onus of steering conversation lies on YOU. Dont gimme des, "Aur sunao?, and whats up? , Kya hai teri kahaani? Y are you so quiet?"
• If I am sitting with 4 people talking and I am quiet, it does not mean that I am getting bored or left out. Im simply listening and perfectly at ease:)
• Next time when you think I'm looking ill, chances are that Im not wearing my kajal. Dats it!
• Dont seek my opinion if you are expecting to hear only Wow, awsome, its soo good..... If I dont like it, I'll tell you that. Be ready to face it.
• I dont alwayz bother to form an opinion about everything. So when I say "Its ok", I am NOT being shy and I am not lying. Im simply indifferent to it. So need not ask me again and again.
• I dont blush at a compliment and I dont mind a comment. Chances are your opinion doesnt matter.
• I dont gossip with everyone. So dont expect me to tell you all about my life and my friend's friend's life coz I wont.
• Stop complaining that I dont call up. You are not the only person on this earth whom i know and I cant possibly call up everyone. If its dat important, try writing me e-mails. I always reply to them.
• Dont ask me to swear on X, Y or Z thing everytime you think I am lying. I dont swear...If you want to believe me, you can do it without swearing on anything (unless as a slang).
• Stop saying,"You are hardly a girl OR You are not like other girls!!!" Im sick n tired of hearing it and now its kinda bugging. You said it once, I heard it.
  
• Stop asking, "So are you dating anyone? Im sure you are." I mean C'mon man, are you asking me or telling me! And why is it so important to know?
  
• Telling you about a problem does not mean that I am asking for a solution. When I want a solution, I'll simply ask your opinion or a course of action. If I don't, then just shut up and listen.
• Don't ask me too many questions about me. If I say leave it, den plz do.
• Don't get into the 'analysing me' mode. I don't need you to tell me what I am. I already know it. I am not a Martian or some rare species that you get down to analyze.
  

IN CASE U HAPPEN TO READ THIS POST, DONT BOTHER TO ENQUIRE IF THEY REFER TO YOU. IF YOU THINK THEY DO, THATS ENUFF!

Note: This post is open for updates so keep coming back to it. There is just might be something more to it.

Blueline @ 10PM

Last summers around the same time, I was working for a company in Noida in the evening shifts. My shift was till 9:30PM and we had cabs to drop us home. On dat fateful day, I happened to miss my cab (ONLY on dat day, the driver decided to leave at exactly 9:45PM. Y me!!!!). And so it was 9:50 and I was standing outside my office fuming at the cab driver, transport deptt, my boss who had to schedule a meeting at 9PM, fate, god while at the same time trying to figure out how to reach back home.
I thought of asking my dad to pick me up or asking one of my collegues to drop me home (my place was at drive of only 20 min away from office so it wasnt much of an issue). And then i saw a bus goin towards my place and all sane n logicals ideas flew outta my mind. "Why bother calling dad at all? Its just 20 min. By the time he'll reach office I'll be back home. I'll take a bus only." And so before any fear or terror could stop me, I crossed the road and boarded the first bus that came my way (obviously the one going to my place). I took the first stair, looked at the driver, then looked at the crowd in the bus and 1st thing that came to my mind, "AA-OH!" Reason: There was only person who seemed sane and sober in that bus and dat was ME. And that includes the driver! It was stinking of liquor. The thought of getting off this bus and dare-devilry flew out as soon as it came coz the bus started moving ahead.
I went in the bus and took a seat next to a window. I could feel around 20 pairs of eyes on me (later on i realised that I was the only gal in the bus) but I kept a firm grip on my nerves (wasnt easy!). I was suddenly mesmerized by Noida with my gaze unblinkingly fixed out of the window. Few people were getting on the bus and were 'trying to' navigate their way in the passage for the empty seats at the end of the bus. A guy sitting next to me though dint seem drunk definitely wasnt sane. Atleast 5 times he asked me the time; not that i bothered to tell him even once. Never ever had a 20 minutes ride had been this long.
Finally I got off the bus and dashed off to home (Phew!). Fortunately I had reached home around the same time as I would have with a cab so my mom dint really doubt anything and I obviously dint tell her anything.
Till date I wonder, what was I thinking? Or was I thinking at all?

Bus Torture

The other day I was having a discussion with a friend on these bus rides and dat reminded me of a bus journey I had early April on my way back from Vaishno Devi Yatra. We hadnt booked seats for our return journey since we wernt sure how long it'll take us to trek down. As it turned out, we were back in Katra after darshan all in 19 hours!
Since it was April summer, we were looking for an AC coach to take us back to Delhi on an over night journey. After much looking around, we finally got an AC coach heading for delhi and we booked 4 seats in that ( I was with my family).
Now although it was a VOLVO AC coach, it did look kinda worn out with a huge crack in one of the glasses (looked like a bullet mark to me!). Also it was not at all cleaned up with lotta dust and empty mineral water bottles and soft drink pet bottles all lying in between the seats. But since there wasnt any other option so we decided to just let it be. Anywayz, we were soo tired that nothing else mattered as long as bus kept on moving and we were secure from the heat by AC.
Soon after we started a group of people asked the bus incharge to put on a movie. Apparently these ppl were not sleepy at all. They were told that they have a TV set but NO CD player so basically that TV set was just there. dats it!
Wats next best to movie? Music! But they dint even have a music player!! "Our CD player and music player recently got stolen."
Anywayz though it was all highly unacceptable It dint really bother me all that much. I was super-tired with every muscle in my body crying out loud. All I wanted was to sleep so I was kinda glad that der isnt any music or TV to disturb me.
But I wish dat was all
There was increasing heat in the bus (an it was an AC coach!) almost to the level of such an increased humidity that it became unbearable. As it turned out, the engine was heating up. So we made a stop and put some water in the engine.
After barely 20 kms, a woman in a car passing by screamed that there is smoke coming out of OUR bus's engine!! (*the engine of this bus was at the back) Now this obviously raised alarm and all of us rushed down within seconds os bus stopping. After howling at the driver a bunch of guyz decided that this bus was not safe enough to get into any longer (there was another group of 2-3 guyz who thot it was simply making a mountain outta molehill. There isnt anything wrong with the bus other than engine heating up. But we cudnt cum to a decision for a good 1 hour and we were marooned at 1AM in the morning in the middle of nowhere. After making calls to the booking agent asking him to send us a backup bus (which he obviously dint have), we finally decided to move ahead cautiously till we find water, put it in the coolant jar of the bus and den go on our way. Luckily we found a handpump nearby. Tens of empty bisleri bottles were used (it was a bus so we obviously needed many litres of water)
And so off we went. We were still a good 400km away from Delhi, bus wasnt moving at more than 60kmph (and dats a bus which can easily touch 100kmph!), the AC wasnt working (and since it was SUPPOSED to work, the glasses of the bus were sealed so no outside air coming in) and to top it all the utter heat & humidity of the bus invited lots of mosquitoes and flies in the bus!!! By the time we reached delhi which was around 4PM (we had started at 8PM last evening!), we were crawling @ 25kmph. I had never been so happy to see the shining blue sign of "Delhi Welcomes You".
As it turned out the bus in question was a scrap of the Uttranchal transport bus srvice and had been plying for 4 years on the Delhi-Dehradoon route. An agency got it in a worn out condition at a discount and had sent it to the workshop for repairs. But due to the heavy rush for delhi buses in katra, the bus owner saw an opportunity to earn some bucks and gave his bus for a trip to delhi without the repair work completed...Ridiculous but i wonder how many of others must have done the same. Wateverrr but we reached home at last and it was a journey to last me a lifetime.
Jai mata di:)

Stressed Who?

While writing Stressed Out, I found dis pic on internet. Funny na:)

Ouch! That hurts:(

Why should I care what he/she thinks what I can do? How does it matter huh? People who have been with me must have heard me say this at some time or the other. And its true for me. How can any body's opinion be of any importance to me.
Until...
I don't think you can handle this. Fine it was your choice and Im not saying you are right or wrong. All Im saying is that its too big for you so better be very careful and focus on it.
And
Do I have any reason to believe in you?
Ouch! That hurts. No reason to believe in me! This coming from someone who has been so very important to me. One of those verrrry few people whose opinion I sought and admired! Fine so I did let him down once but was that big enough to wipe out all his trust in me? Was it soo brittle? This makes me doubt my own self. Maybe he is right. Maybe I cant do this. I cudnt do it last time, den how can I do this now?
Or....I can do it this time. Y? Well coz I cudnt last time. Yesss!
And so I'll carry on. But still....it hurts:(