Small Things

Different people think differently (some dont even bother thinking), perceive the same situation with a different angle and thus react differently. What's normal to you might be a big deal for
someone else...Problems arise when we dont understand this:
"How could he say that? He doesnt care for my feelings...Im just another person for him."
"WTF! Why is she making such an issue outta it?"
Both of you keep on defending your own stand, your own ground and before you realize you have crossed the point of no return. So what could have been an interesting and meaningful journey, you posted the sign of THE END there yourself, all the while wondering whats going on? Y is dis happening?
And what makes it so terribly worse is that its indeed not a very big issue...just some miniscule misunderstanding, some prank gone awry. All it needed was some patience, understanding and a will to save the relationship. Its not that you dont value it but just shedding a few tears and cursing god over Y-this-is-happening-to-me dsnt serve the purpose.
So engrossed we become in our own point of views that we just dont step into other person's shoes and look @ it from his/her perspective. He/She might also be right na? And its not like flipping the coin that either he is right or u r!! You both could be right at your own places...but the idea is to make a move, an effort to salvage something you value, you cherish.
Ego, hurt, shattered expectations or just that empty feeling of Its-all-over stops you from taking that extra step, that one small move that might have been all that was needed. And at times, its truely worth it:)

Am I making any sense? IDC but just felt like putting it up here.

Nighmarish disease

People generate awareness for diseases like AIDS, there are researches to find cure for cancer and many other fatal diseases. One disease that is heavily under-rated but vast vaaaast vaaaaaaaaaaastly spread is....aaaa aaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkccccchhhuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Excuse me all. *sniff* *sniff*

What was I saying...haan, vastly spread is cough and cold. I have never ever come across anyone who hasnt faced this dragon.

Ur head feels as heavy as lead, ur throat feels clawed, u cant utter a single sentence without punctuating it with *sniff* sniffing and often accompanied with fever:(

I am not prone to illness. Infact, i rarely fall ill (unless i need a leave:P). And even if i fall ill, i cant just lie and rest. But this *sniff* cough and cold, this like completely drains me out. All my senses take leave...my eyes get teary, I cant see. My ears start buzzing, I cant hear and loud noise gives me a headache. And my nose...Ah well! It is sooo busy sniffing, sense of smell is toh completely non-existant. And for some reason, when I cant smell food, I cant make out its taste too!! So u see:(:(

The worst part about this is that even though it torments the patient, its not considered a disease at all!! U cant take a leave from school/office citing heavy cold as a reason! No sympathies, no TLC, no get well soon messages!!

Sigh..dats just not fair u know.
aaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkccccchhhuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
*sniff*
Cant write anymore:(

Saying it loud...

• Sitting alone doesn't mean that I am lonely n sad n depressed or anything equally negative ok. It simply means that I am with myself n its PERFECTLY normal.
• Accept it: I am not a chatter box ok...I don't talk much. so while talking to me, the onus of steering conversation lies on YOU. Dont gimme des, "Aur sunao?, and whats up? , Kya hai teri kahaani? Y are you so quiet?"
• If I am sitting with 4 people talking and I am quiet, it does not mean that I am getting bored or left out. Im simply listening and perfectly at ease:)
• Next time when you think I'm looking ill, chances are that Im not wearing my kajal. Dats it!
• Dont seek my opinion if you are expecting to hear only Wow, awsome, its soo good..... If I dont like it, I'll tell you that. Be ready to face it.
• I dont alwayz bother to form an opinion about everything. So when I say "Its ok", I am NOT being shy and I am not lying. Im simply indifferent to it. So need not ask me again and again.
• I dont blush at a compliment and I dont mind a comment. Chances are your opinion doesnt matter.
• I dont gossip with everyone. So dont expect me to tell you all about my life and my friend's friend's life coz I wont.
• Stop complaining that I dont call up. You are not the only person on this earth whom i know and I cant possibly call up everyone. If its dat important, try writing me e-mails. I always reply to them.
• Dont ask me to swear on X, Y or Z thing everytime you think I am lying. I dont swear...If you want to believe me, you can do it without swearing on anything (unless as a slang).
• Stop saying,"You are hardly a girl OR You are not like other girls!!!" Im sick n tired of hearing it and now its kinda bugging. You said it once, I heard it.
  
• Stop asking, "So are you dating anyone? Im sure you are." I mean C'mon man, are you asking me or telling me! And why is it so important to know?
  
• Telling you about a problem does not mean that I am asking for a solution. When I want a solution, I'll simply ask your opinion or a course of action. If I don't, then just shut up and listen.
• Don't ask me too many questions about me. If I say leave it, den plz do.
• Don't get into the 'analysing me' mode. I don't need you to tell me what I am. I already know it. I am not a Martian or some rare species that you get down to analyze.
  

IN CASE U HAPPEN TO READ THIS POST, DONT BOTHER TO ENQUIRE IF THEY REFER TO YOU. IF YOU THINK THEY DO, THATS ENUFF!

Note: This post is open for updates so keep coming back to it. There is just might be something more to it.

Ouch! That hurts:(

Why should I care what he/she thinks what I can do? How does it matter huh? People who have been with me must have heard me say this at some time or the other. And its true for me. How can any body's opinion be of any importance to me.
Until...
I don't think you can handle this. Fine it was your choice and Im not saying you are right or wrong. All Im saying is that its too big for you so better be very careful and focus on it.
And
Do I have any reason to believe in you?
Ouch! That hurts. No reason to believe in me! This coming from someone who has been so very important to me. One of those verrrry few people whose opinion I sought and admired! Fine so I did let him down once but was that big enough to wipe out all his trust in me? Was it soo brittle? This makes me doubt my own self. Maybe he is right. Maybe I cant do this. I cudnt do it last time, den how can I do this now?
Or....I can do it this time. Y? Well coz I cudnt last time. Yesss!
And so I'll carry on. But still....it hurts:(

Worst PJ ever!

You know there should be law against people like this guy. Picture this...you had a very busy day (and dat too after a long time). Imagine roaming around in the city in the temperature of 34 degree, sun draining out your energy and patience..u got the picture na. So after such a day you come back home and you login on Gtalk to catch up with some friends.
And you came across this fella who completely drains you out by PJs!
Sample this conversation I had with spectator (referred to here as S). My thoughts are in italics:
S: 4 elephants sitting on a tree branch. one of them falls off. Why?
Me: Dunno
S: There wasnt space enuff for him.
Me: Kya bakwaas!
S: Another elephant falls down. Now tell me why?
This time i tried to play along. I tried my hand at it and it was best by my standards.
Me: To accompany the earlier one
S: No! First elephant had caught on to his leg so he also got carried down.
Me: ????????????
S: Ok now one more of them falls down. Guess why?
Me: No clue
S: No! He thought its a jumping competition.
Me: I gotta go to market.
S: Arrey wait na. Achcha the last one also falls down. Y?
Me: to accompany others?
S: No baba. The tree pushed him. Then the tree also fell down.
Me: Beyond me to guess.
S: Coz tree thought he is also an elephant.
Aaarrrrgggghhhhh! What can i loose if I kill this guy? I think I can plead not-guilty on grounds of self-defence! Any lawyers out there?
So Spectator, I admit when it comes to cracking PJs, you take the cake, oven, bakery and baker!!!! But for christ sake, Spare me!!!!!!!

Facing a wrong choice

"Life is all about the choices you make"
This is something i have alwayz lived by. There is nothing like pre-defined course of life. You, your actions and your choices have the power to shape your life and decide its course.
But what you do when you make a wrong choice? (To err is human, you cant alwayz be right na.) You made a choice that seemed like just the right path infact almost tailor made for you but as you progressed along, you realize its the wrong way! Forget the right it doesn't even lead to wrong way...it leads to a dead end. No where to go from there. And you have come a long way...too far to turn and change course. Now what- Stop rite there? or continue walking till you reach the end? And then wat?
In times like these, I wish oh-how-much-i-wish to play the blame game..if there was some way to shift the blame to someone else..maybe god, maybe destiny or just anything dammit!! I dint know it was wrong path..it seemed rite dat time. y will i choose something so bad for myself! But like someone told me last evening, maybe it was my delusion which made me see it as right course..i saw what i wanted to see and moved on.
Oh well, whom am i kidding. I made a choice and now i gotta stick to it, come what may.
And maybe its not an end after all. I guess I need to look at it closely, i might find a way out. Yaaaa..dats the way to look at it:)

Kinda messed up so took it all out here.

I Wish...

Remember the fable where a man was granted 3 wishes? Well sometimes I too long for such an opportunity. Only problem would be how to accommodate my wish list in just 3?
I wish it snowed in Delhi..in JUNE!
I wish I could fly n go anywhere...at least i'll be spared the traffic jams.
I wish I could eat eat n eat without putting on even an ounce of weight (not that it bothers me even now.)
I wish no one smoked on this earth (for details, read this)
I wish my mom would stop asking me to clean up my room:(
I surely wish I can remember the names of people i meet with their faces. Imagine when I come across someone in a mall or multiplex greeted with a big Hiiiiiiii, a hug, smile n all that. n all this while im staring blankly at the fella wondering, " I know i have seen this fella somewhere. I know him. but what the devil is his name?"
I wish to be able to get movie tickets for any movie, any time, any where. Even if i try to get tickets for a Prime Time show of a so called block buster at like 5 minutes before the show begins.
I wish my friend (lemme not name her) stops giving me a piece of her mind everytime i tell her about some acquaintance i made online.
I wish people would stop asking me n my mom about my shaadi. Its not gonna be for atleast another 5 years ok. n how the devil is it anymore concern to you!?!
I wish I could clear out memory of any bad words i said to someone dear (unknowingly) or any bad decisions i made (wow...dat was senti type)

They say, If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
Im glad it's true. coz u see..i don't know riding:P

Im loosing it....Heeeeelp!

Darlingz, this is an SOS message! Something wrong somewhere. here are the cases in point.
Case 1:
A msg i had sent to a frnd:Hi, If you are coming to office tomorrow, don't forget to get my First Victim and your Prodigal Daughter. C ya!
I was actually referring to:
First Victim by Ridley Person
Prodigal Daughter by Jeffrey Archer

Case 2:
Frnd: I'll talk to you tomorrow. feeling a bit low.
Me (bugged since it was the 4th day i was hearing this): Fine. then you continue feeling low ok. Y dont u go to Kanyakumari n feel low huh.
Frnd: ????????

Case 3:
Me: Dont tell anyone that i said dis ok.
Frnd: Ya rite! as if i have nothnig better to do den discuss you. who do u think u r? Mahatma Gandhi?
Me: No way man. im not bald n i do wear clothes.
Frnd: U need a doctor

Case 4:
Frnd: I cant sit for long. my backbone is damaged. it has shifted a bit to the left.
Me: So how does it matter. the only difference wud be dat now ur right shoulder is bigger than the left one.(Dont ask me what was dat. I've been tryin to figure it out ever since)
Frnd: I'll talk to u later

Case 5:
Situation: I and Adi goin on a break. It was drizzling on n off. It stopped and we moved out. it started raining again. I looked at the clouds
Me (loud & clear): What is dis huh? were u lk waiting for us to move out? cant u make up ur mind? u wanna pour, u pour. u dont wanna pour, u dont pour. Dont play these games ok.
Adi (to people in genral): Ok. I dont know her.

All this in last one month!
*sigh* what's wrong with me? Am I seriously loosing it? Or is it the heat wave? Or maybe its the April effect. (thinks for some time, then like alwayz shrugs and says, Uffff! Whateverrrrr!)

What to Crib about?

Hie! Somehow I'm feelin lk giving in to the most basic female past time..im feelin lk cribbing. but crib about what?Hmmm lets see...what can i crib about now.. Hey u all, no need to get jealous ppl. its not that i dont HAVE anything to crib. On the contrary, there are quiet a few things. Even if there wrnt, trust a gal to cum up wid something to crib about at leisure;) You don't believe me huh..lemme tell you wat all is pissing me.
I cud crib abt how my life going aaaaaaaaaaa nowhere. Things happen on an auto pilot. You wud think dats ok..chilled out but IMAGINE AN AUTO PILOT IN A HURRICANE!!!
I cud crib abt how I dont feel lk workin in office n i sit for 9 hours in front of my PC just passing time or reading/composing bakwaas blog posts lk the one im writting right now (Yup, im in office). Once upon a time, i used to hate people doin this n now....sigh well, hota hai.
I cud crib abt how I completely hate my workstation rite next to a passage with people passing by every nano second. n i esp hate this i-want-to-see-what-is-she-doin-on-her-pc inquisitiveness in people. dey enter the room through that cursed door and dey HAVE TO see what i am doin!! Y? y oh y cant u just mind ur own biz huh? Dont u have anything in life to do? wrnt u goin for some work? den MOVE ON!trust me, im not maintaing a spy file on u ppl dat u have to ensure im not writting any unsolicited remarks( n even if i am, how the hell can it affect u!!!) Cum 2 think of it, its a basic human nature. look around u and u'll find many specimens of this bt lets talk abt them some other time ok.
I cud crib abt this super hot, boiling, roastin, burning heat of Delhi..It feels nothing less den a volcano crater (exxagerated i know bt remember, im talkin abt cribbin!) 2 minutes outta house and u wudnt know if u r wet from water or sweat. YUCK!
Or I cud be a nice responsible delhiite and crib abt wat a super mess dey have made outta river Yamuna. It resembles more a drain rather than a supposedly holy river. Or dat the roads r bad n buses r crowded and city so unsafe for women. Or about how completely irrational is this idea of women safety by Karnataka Government.
I can crib about how its already 2nd week of the month and i still havnt got my salary n boy am i BROKE! Y dont des people realise that some people actually lead their life hand to mouth (esp like her who just cannot control der shoppin urges!)
I can crib abt all my friends who work 5 days a week and make sure not only to update me abt der wonderful plans for an entire SATURDAY but also gimme call atleast twice during entire day tellin me how their day is goin! its so that 'I dont miss out on any fun' (Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarghh i need a gun!)
I can crib about how Im just not able to finish off this 'Mein Kampf' I have been reading since 3 weeks now (long time by my standards). It simply goes on and on...partly also coz i think im not able to stick to it..in des 3 weeks i have read 2 other books as well bt then......watever.
And lastly,
I wanna crib about how both the 'crazies' (this & this) have completely abandoned this shared blog with not even a single post on it(wait...dat means dey never took it up in the first place! ). And lemme clear...its NOT b'coz they cannot write bakwaas ok. U dont believe me, read it here.

So u see..there r soo many things i can crib about.but i still dont know wat shud i crib about?any ideas anyone?

Ye kya hua?

Ever since i have been reading, there have been countless jokes about female of the species being all-so-difficult and so cant-be-understood type. here is what my experience tells me...All human beings are pessimists by default..esp MEN!

No matter how much they know you, how long you have known each other, one chance and they are ready to believe the worst of you!
And what more...once you are branded a culprit, there is no hearing on the matter.
You try to explain; you are trying to defend yourself 'Why is it so difficult for you to accept your fault? its always the case with you..everytime you do this...blah blah blah'
You still try; you are arguing, you are not even sorry....
And lastly..
I'm pissed. i cant let it go this time. We'll talk later.
And you? HA! You don't even come to know what hit you...
You just sit, staring at the phone trying to figue out when did it all start. HELL!


* Had a terrible terrible weekend so simply venting it out here. Guess im just frustrated.
Bye for now!