Meeting the Past

Packin your stuff brings you face 2 face with your past memories. Things you were looking for all over but cudnt find...to things you kept too carefully to remember again. The past weekend was nostalgia full on for me. I found hidden in my almira, things I have been carrying with me since ages…some toh I dint even know exist.

My music diary. This is a good 11 yrs old…back when I was learning classical music…it’s tattered to no end with yellowed pages. But it symbolizes the most beautiful times of my school life…when I was just myself.

My Ghungroo. No I wasn’t into classical dancing but I have a string of 20-25 ghungroos. It’s a single string, not a pair. I like their sweet tingling sound. Plan to hang them in my room as a substitute to wind chimes.

Remember the amazing viral marketing spin by Ruffle Lays? I and my brother had a huuuuuuuge collection of these taazos. Infact, we had created an album for this.

McDonalds used to be my brother’s fav hound for nothing else but those toys that we used to get from there.

I found an unposted letter written to my friend 5 years back. I was always into writing and used to write her long letters full of nothing else but crap and gossip. Dunno why I did not post this one.

My remedy to overcome bad moods and anger, just spill it all out on a piece of paper and read it after 3-4 days. You tend to laugh at it that time and then you can burn it off. Guess I never got back to some of them after 3-4 days…some of those venting out creations were 7 years old! And ya…I did laugh at them.

A calendar of year 2000 that I got from Jaipur, mainly coz I liked the paintings on each page...I even recreated some of them.

A travel kit gifted to me by my brother on Rakshabandhan. It had a mirror, comb, tooth brush, tooth paste, soap and a mini towel. Never really got round to use it.

My Barbie doll and her clothes and kitchen set.

Fake currency notes that were quiet in vogue some 10 years back.

A glow toy that I had with me…it used to be my bed-partner along with my dolls and teddy bears. It somehow gave me a sense of security.

A book on Russian folk stories (funny I had read Russian when I was young and here I am struggling with Fyodor Dostoevsky)

My passpost size photographs when I was in class 10. I could actually see the transformation since these 8 years!

Other then these, ofcourse there was also some windfall gains as:
A pillow cover that mom had been lookin for since looooong time

A stationary kit. My brother once asked me if I have it with me since he cudn’t really find it anywhere else and I obviously said No.

A notebook with some important notes. I knew I have it with me but just cudnt find it when I needed it.

A SPOON!! Don’t ask me how did dat land in my almira.

4-5 towels

Uncountable number of handkerchiefs all distributed in my handbags and jeans pockets n all. Unfortunately no windfall gains in terms of money :(

My almira was nothing less then a pandora’s box I guess. But it was fun going through all those times again. Some things I have to leave behind but then…memories are not dependant on material objects right.

Moving on

“Wake up! We have reached. Arrey utho bhi.”
My mom’s consistent poking finally managed to wake me up from my slumber… How do I manage to sleep so deeply curled up in the car is a mystery to her as well as me.
I was still pissed with the last argument and was obviously not in a very amiable mood. Who would be if u r made to leave your friends and school and shift to a completely different one?
I looked up to the group of white tall buildings one of which was to house my new home.
“They all look the same! I’ll never find my house.”
“Ever heard of something called house number? We had it earlier as well. And there too all houses looked same.”
“Yaaa but…its soo tall! And there is no elevator as well”
“Its only 4 floors and our house is on 2nd floor”
This last counter argument was delivered with a don’t-be-so-difficult look to me. I knew there was nothing I could say, not at the moment at least. I quietly followed my dad down the lanes to the block that was to be my new home.
“It’s so small!! And what if I fall from the stairs?”
“If you look where you are walking, you won’t fall.”
The problems that I could find with this place were innumerable!
“I wont drink dis packed milk. It’s synthetic! I read it in paper”
“I cant sleep at night. I can actually hear someone walking in the house above ours! Its disturbing”
“I don’t like the kids out here…they don’t play football!”
And the list went on…Now that I think of it, it was a natural defensive reaction from a 11 year old who refused to be taken out of her cocoon.
In the last one decade that I have lived here, this place has grown from a quiet, relatively greener part of the city to a busy, upcoming segment with malls, metro and new housing societies.
Im comfortable here…my friend’s place is walking distance from my home and my office is 5 km.
And then:
“We are shifting. Packup!”
“Whaaat! But why are we going there of all the places? It’s not even come up properly yet! And my office will be soo faar! And it’s not safe at all….”
*embaressed smile*
History repeated itself.
11 years later and my reaction is still the same. Guess im still defensive about my comfort zone and don’t want to let go of it.
Is it only me or is everyone else like that?

Teacher's Day

Early morning as soon as I signed in my messenger, heard my friend N rant, "Yaar im feeling like going to school today."
Now I could have expected anything but this. Y school? All of a sudden after all these years! And y dis sudden urge to re-visit the bygone era?
"Y? What happened?" I asked half expecting her to mad-mouth her job and the professional life.
"What do u mean by asking Y!! You havnt forgotten its teachers day, have you?" She asked in an accusing tone.
For 2 secs, everything came to a stand still. Today is teacher's day. Today is teachers day. Today is teachers day...somehow i kept on repeating dis to myself trying to analyse what do i feel..maybe i was expecting a feeling of nostalgia or jusr a small smile of rememeberance only but definetly not what I felt at that moment: NOTHING.
Quiet a contrast to our school days when Teacher's day used to be something next to annual day & sports day in terms of excitement and preps.
We used to give hand made cards to our teachers with the best card reserved for ones fav teacher (obviously one giving max marks in tests and least homework:P).
Dance practice sessions, skits made with tongue in cheek jokes on the teachers or a poems n ballads tellin them how much they mean to us regardless of all the names we used to 'fondly' bestowed on them.
One of the highs of this day used to be playing a teacher. Wearing a saree, being a grown up and playing teacher to the classes junior to you...a license to bully them actually:P Since wearing a saree was not an everyday task, discussions used to begin weeks in advance for the kinda saree one could procure from mom (it was almost a dress rehersal for farewell parties to follow some years on).
And ofcourse it was a day of no-studies in school; something even better den a holiday:D At the end of it all, it was a day of connecting with those who played a major role in shaping our personality- Our Teachers.
And after a mere time gap of 5 years, I dint even remember the day...does dat mean that i dont care? or dat im too caught up with things happening in my life?
And incase any of my teachers happen to stumble on my blog and this post, I thank you all for giving me right direction and guidance & making me the kinda person I am today (this is a compliment ok:P)
How many of you (those who are done with your school ofcourse) remembered its teacher's day today?

Idiot box and me- A decade back

Alone at home, with nothing to do (or lets say, dint feel like doing anything:P) I switched on my Idiot box for some time pass. Like most of the people, i hardly watch TV and even when I do, its more of channel surfing avoiding adverts and repeat telecasts of the teary soap- operas.
I guess I heard while constantly pressing the NEXT on the remote control... "Jungle jungle baat chali hai.." What was dat? I came down on the channel list looking for the source of this long forgotten melody. And there it was on one of the channels- Jungle Book. After more than a decade, I got reunited with Moogli, bagira, bhalu, nag and the oh-so-evil Sher khan. This and next day when I read dis post, took me down the memory lane remembering my rendezvous with the TV in my childhood. Those were the times before cables channels turned up (at least at my place)
Other then, jungle book there was disney hour- mickey mouse, donald duck (I just cudnt understand a word he said bt it sounded funny. many a times i tried to imitate his voice bt so far...no luck) and later on series lk ducktales, talespin and alladin (my fav character in dis was the wickedly funny yakoob- the parrot).
There were morning shows hosted by Tabassum- lady with a very charming and loving persona and someone i was actually in awe of coz she cud talk like Donald Duck. Used to be glued to the screen listening to all kind of fables and stories- about a man who tried to steel bringles from his neighbor's backyard, about a girl who got rewarded for her selflessness, kind and unassuming nature and many others.
In between programs, there were fillers of Chitrahaar- a back-to-back songs program and list of Missing people telecasted by Gumshuda talash kendra.
And ofcourse at the end of the day @9PM, dad used to watch prime time news. Too young to bother about matters of the country and nation, i used to sit with dad noticing everything other than the news while waiting for the telecast to get over. Recorded against a plain pale blue background with a screen appearing at the right-topmost corner whenever the news was accompanied by a video footage. The news readers were people in their late 30s (atleast that wat they looked like). There used to be one particular news reader who used to wear a flower in her hair. It used to be of exact colour as her saree. How she alwayz managed to find the right shade always remained a mystery to me. (When was the last time i saw anyone wearing a flower in hair?)
On sundays there was Rangoli- a musical countdown show hosted by Hema Malini on air every Sunday @ 7AM (wow! i even remember the time). Dat was the only time i used to get up willingly so early. Then after 2 hours there used to be slew of mythological shows accompanying us at breakfast.
Weekends were special coz of Saturday and Sunday night movies. Done with the food before 9PM so that mom can peacefully watch the movie. Of course i never got to watch the entire sunday movie- school next day:(
'Weird how things have changed now...so many channels, so many shows. I sit in front of the TV for like 3 hours and still end up watching nothing. Whats of point of all dis. such a waste?' I think all this while continually surfing the channels.

Blueline @ 10PM

Last summers around the same time, I was working for a company in Noida in the evening shifts. My shift was till 9:30PM and we had cabs to drop us home. On dat fateful day, I happened to miss my cab (ONLY on dat day, the driver decided to leave at exactly 9:45PM. Y me!!!!). And so it was 9:50 and I was standing outside my office fuming at the cab driver, transport deptt, my boss who had to schedule a meeting at 9PM, fate, god while at the same time trying to figure out how to reach back home.
I thought of asking my dad to pick me up or asking one of my collegues to drop me home (my place was at drive of only 20 min away from office so it wasnt much of an issue). And then i saw a bus goin towards my place and all sane n logicals ideas flew outta my mind. "Why bother calling dad at all? Its just 20 min. By the time he'll reach office I'll be back home. I'll take a bus only." And so before any fear or terror could stop me, I crossed the road and boarded the first bus that came my way (obviously the one going to my place). I took the first stair, looked at the driver, then looked at the crowd in the bus and 1st thing that came to my mind, "AA-OH!" Reason: There was only person who seemed sane and sober in that bus and dat was ME. And that includes the driver! It was stinking of liquor. The thought of getting off this bus and dare-devilry flew out as soon as it came coz the bus started moving ahead.
I went in the bus and took a seat next to a window. I could feel around 20 pairs of eyes on me (later on i realised that I was the only gal in the bus) but I kept a firm grip on my nerves (wasnt easy!). I was suddenly mesmerized by Noida with my gaze unblinkingly fixed out of the window. Few people were getting on the bus and were 'trying to' navigate their way in the passage for the empty seats at the end of the bus. A guy sitting next to me though dint seem drunk definitely wasnt sane. Atleast 5 times he asked me the time; not that i bothered to tell him even once. Never ever had a 20 minutes ride had been this long.
Finally I got off the bus and dashed off to home (Phew!). Fortunately I had reached home around the same time as I would have with a cab so my mom dint really doubt anything and I obviously dint tell her anything.
Till date I wonder, what was I thinking? Or was I thinking at all?

Bus Torture

The other day I was having a discussion with a friend on these bus rides and dat reminded me of a bus journey I had early April on my way back from Vaishno Devi Yatra. We hadnt booked seats for our return journey since we wernt sure how long it'll take us to trek down. As it turned out, we were back in Katra after darshan all in 19 hours!
Since it was April summer, we were looking for an AC coach to take us back to Delhi on an over night journey. After much looking around, we finally got an AC coach heading for delhi and we booked 4 seats in that ( I was with my family).
Now although it was a VOLVO AC coach, it did look kinda worn out with a huge crack in one of the glasses (looked like a bullet mark to me!). Also it was not at all cleaned up with lotta dust and empty mineral water bottles and soft drink pet bottles all lying in between the seats. But since there wasnt any other option so we decided to just let it be. Anywayz, we were soo tired that nothing else mattered as long as bus kept on moving and we were secure from the heat by AC.
Soon after we started a group of people asked the bus incharge to put on a movie. Apparently these ppl were not sleepy at all. They were told that they have a TV set but NO CD player so basically that TV set was just there. dats it!
Wats next best to movie? Music! But they dint even have a music player!! "Our CD player and music player recently got stolen."
Anywayz though it was all highly unacceptable It dint really bother me all that much. I was super-tired with every muscle in my body crying out loud. All I wanted was to sleep so I was kinda glad that der isnt any music or TV to disturb me.
But I wish dat was all
There was increasing heat in the bus (an it was an AC coach!) almost to the level of such an increased humidity that it became unbearable. As it turned out, the engine was heating up. So we made a stop and put some water in the engine.
After barely 20 kms, a woman in a car passing by screamed that there is smoke coming out of OUR bus's engine!! (*the engine of this bus was at the back) Now this obviously raised alarm and all of us rushed down within seconds os bus stopping. After howling at the driver a bunch of guyz decided that this bus was not safe enough to get into any longer (there was another group of 2-3 guyz who thot it was simply making a mountain outta molehill. There isnt anything wrong with the bus other than engine heating up. But we cudnt cum to a decision for a good 1 hour and we were marooned at 1AM in the morning in the middle of nowhere. After making calls to the booking agent asking him to send us a backup bus (which he obviously dint have), we finally decided to move ahead cautiously till we find water, put it in the coolant jar of the bus and den go on our way. Luckily we found a handpump nearby. Tens of empty bisleri bottles were used (it was a bus so we obviously needed many litres of water)
And so off we went. We were still a good 400km away from Delhi, bus wasnt moving at more than 60kmph (and dats a bus which can easily touch 100kmph!), the AC wasnt working (and since it was SUPPOSED to work, the glasses of the bus were sealed so no outside air coming in) and to top it all the utter heat & humidity of the bus invited lots of mosquitoes and flies in the bus!!! By the time we reached delhi which was around 4PM (we had started at 8PM last evening!), we were crawling @ 25kmph. I had never been so happy to see the shining blue sign of "Delhi Welcomes You".
As it turned out the bus in question was a scrap of the Uttranchal transport bus srvice and had been plying for 4 years on the Delhi-Dehradoon route. An agency got it in a worn out condition at a discount and had sent it to the workshop for repairs. But due to the heavy rush for delhi buses in katra, the bus owner saw an opportunity to earn some bucks and gave his bus for a trip to delhi without the repair work completed...Ridiculous but i wonder how many of others must have done the same. Wateverrr but we reached home at last and it was a journey to last me a lifetime.
Jai mata di:)

Going back to forwards

Empty mind is a devil's workshop. But my mind has become a time machine taking me on nostalgic trips down the memory lane.
Its been a good 6-7 years since I opened my 1st e-mail account on Rediff (I wasn't much of a computer addict back than and dis e-mail account also I opened coz one of my friends was going outta Delhi..so it was more of a 'have to' thing for me). But later on I got kinda addicted to it. That excitement of composing e-mails and more than writing, reading e-mails. A new way of doing things. Funny coz dat time I dint really get any mails of significance (not dat i get them now even but..wateverrr) still that anticipation while opening the inbox of ur mail ID and reading 'you have x new/unread mails'...priceless! And since there wasn't anything of significance sent to me, what i looked forward to were the Forwards. Yup those non-personal mails dat u get telling you some story, joke and mostly some sorta funny animation, often with a trail of previously forwarded IDs.
Now there are many who find them irritating, impersonal (Someone send some crappy joke to 100 people and he/she clicked on your name too..big deal! just makes you part of the crowd) and complete junk eating into the storage space of your mail account..blah blah blah.
But heylo.....they are not meant as someone-is-thinking-about-you token! And they are not crappy alwayz.. u get quiet interesting pics and links through forwards. Though i admit those chain mails are indeed a pain in u-know-what. Curse of the evil tweety (how can such a cute bird be termed evil!), God's eye (an image clicked by space station..talk of superstition and science going hand in hand) and Virgin Mary's boon...you name it. These will come with a condition that send it to 10 friends in next 1 hour or you'll be cursed for the next 10 years blah blah blah. That really bugs no end.
I don't forward them ahead but so far i havnt been haunted by any evil spirit (I guess so!)
Other than that, I dont have any issues with forwards. Too bad i dont get them anymore what wid all my friends buzy wid office and all. But still when i am on nostalgic trips like these, I go through some of my old mails...feels good:)

Wrong Number

Seems like this is season for Flash back trips for me. Got reminded of this wrong number call I got a few years back. I was having my final year exams. Next day was my paper for an exceptionally tedious and boring paper and I was at my wit's end.
TRING TRING
Me: Hello?
He: Hello..how are you?
Me: aaaa Hi, who is this?
He: Achcha, so now you don't even recognize me huh

Me: mmmmmmm Im sorry bt i really am not able to place you.
He: Ok tell me dis evening's plan is confirmed or u want to cancle it again?
Me: Huh? Sorry. Wrong number.

TRING TRING
Me: Hello
He: So you are still angry?
Me: Listen its a wrong number!
He: Ok baba. Im sorry for what happened ok. Ab theek hai?
Me: Listen, you have dialled wrong number ok.

TRING TRING
Me:
He: Dekho pushpa, ye jo tumahra attitude hai na, ye bahut galat hai. Arrey every time u do the same thing. I wont tolerate it anymore!!
Me: huh??? You check the number you have dialled ok. Stop pushing the re-dial button!!

Finally I had to switch off the phone. If I hadn't been so pre-occupied with my exam, It would be have been fun playing around but the timing was wrong:(
Hope dat Mr. who-so-ever-he-was was able to contact who-so-ever-he-wanted-to. Poor thing sounded completely exhausted.lolz!

Penning down...

Last evening my mom's request to copy a few pages from some book for her brought me face to face with my friend from bygone era..My pen. I picked it up and sat down to complete the chore set down by my mom. What once was enjoyable seemed a struggle to me. "dats strange" I thought.
I picked up my pen close. We saw each other; as one sees a long lost friend. I think i had a smile of recognition on my face (cudnt see it obviously), I saw a smile of hurt.
"Hey, how r u? Long time huh?" I said starting up a conversation.
"Long time? make that 2 years and dunno how many months. Is dats how u keep in touch?" There was complain in that voice.
"Well I started with my office and there i was buzy with things. Just dint have time to get back to old hobbies. Its not i forgot you people..I couldn't spend a day without you two yaar, dont u know it!" I retorted at this complain, refusing to be held guilty.
"Hmph...if you can spend 2 years away from your friends then they are no longer part of your everyday life for sure. And you know it very well. The past tense in your words says it all sweetie."
"Ofcourse not!"I reverted back but defied conviction in my own words. I knew I had let them down.
Things had changed and how. From times when I couldn't get 2 straight lines outta my head without a pen held in between my fingers to today when I can't think without the feel of electronic keys positioned beneath my finger tips. After my final year exam for graduation 2 years back, I don't remember writing words for even half a page...It never went farther then a few lines.
Technology wat else!
"Are you writing it or again stuck to your phone?" My mom inquired.
I continued my struggle to copy down the words in a handwriting i could barely recognize..and read.

Experienced Serendipity?

Watched this movie few dayz back. Fine so it was released in 2001 but i watched it a few years later..big deal! For the unawares, Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely. in short, accidental good fortune.
Though im not one for the mushy mushy fairy tale romance, i kinda liked the movie not to mention cute John Cusack;) but this is not about the movie.

It reminded me of a few incidences in my own life when I found something
while looking for something completely different (Though as things happen with me, i NEVER NEVER NEVER find the thing im lookin for @ the time im lookin for it but...whateverrrrrr!). Like when I was looking for a mag (some stupid stuff for
pass time), came across Alchemist by Paulo Coelho n bought it purely outta impulse.
Or when I was about to leave my job but had a chat wid my newly appointed boss n decided to stay.Met great people & learned a lot in those few months.
Or when during my annual room-tidying-up, I found my notebook with my music notes (Ahem, i was into singing once). I wrote it when i was in class 7- dats lk 10 yrs back!! I thought i had lost it somewhere.
I got to know about one of my very good friends after a gap of 8 years through his neighbour who happened to be my classmate. It was wonderful reliving through all those moments again while talking.
Went to watch Vivah (Ok...spare me the raised eyebrows n exclaimations!), dint get the tickets (reached late dats y) ended up watching Guru n simply loved it.
And many such incidences...they arnt big by any means. They dont effect the way you think, the way you react or even your outlook towards life..No way! But in your mundane life running after things when the only good fortune you expect is possibly lesser traffic n stoppage time @ the traffic lights, when you come across something like this, it makes you stop for a second and simply SMILE!!

So have a Smiling day:)


PS: Come to think of it, y did i include the movie? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Whateverrrrrr!