In conversation

“What’s with you and this word Sorry?”
“As in?”
“As in why is it so difficult for you to utter this word? You are always so stubborn type about this.”
“I have no issues in apologizing to anyone. But you convince me that I am at fault.”
“Can’t you say sorry just to make someone feel better.”
“If Im saying sorry without meaning it, how will that person feel better! Dat would be cheating him”
“What cheating yaar…u said something which pricked someone. You say sorry to end the matter and get done with it. That’s it! What is so complicated in that.”
“I am not bothered who does what. Maybe for them this word doesn’t mean anything. But it matters to me so when I say sorry to someone, I really mean it.”
“Funny. I have noticed you saying sorry when you bump into something on the way…at times it’s just a pillar or tree. But you say sorry even before realizing it’s an object.”
“That’s different. More of a habitual thing.”
“The way it sounds is that you can apologize to a mere stranger on the road, even an object but not to the ones who love you, who stand by all your whims? Their feelings and thoughts don’t matter?”
“Of course they do. But I am sure they will not be happy with me apologizing for the sake of saying it. They know me and I doubt if they expect it.”
“That’s kinda nasty you know. You slashed someone but if you don’t think you were at fault, you won’t apologize. Even if that person bleeds to death.”
“So you mean you haven’t apologized to anyone to make up?”
“I have. If someone is so adamant on hearing this, then I ask if they want me to say sorry without meaning it. I they say yes, then I say sorry. Though I have never seen them be happy about it.”
“There you go again. Why you have to make it so obvious? When you make it clear that you don’t mean it, obviously no one will be pleased with it.”
“So I am to say sorry without meaning it but it should look genuine?”
“Ummmm ya kinda. That’s what is expected”
“Funny how people fool themselves.”
“You know your problem? Your problem is that you turn everything in an ego issue.”
“Ya rite. Not apologizing to make things better is ego. But expecting someone to pretend as guilty without meaning it just to make yourself feel better is …..”
“That’s the world honey.”
*sigh*

This was a conversation I had with myself sometime back. Somehow it dint seem to conclude. Maybe coz none of us knew the conclusion. But I am not guilty for leaving it in between. And luckily, my self is someone I don’t have to pretend and say Sorry.